Do They Get Paid On The Masked Singer
- Do They Get Paid On The Masked Singer Unmasked
- Do You Win Money On The Masked Singer
- Do They Win Money On The Masked Singer
A few people have asked me over the last few weeks if I had any thoughts about the SM/Woollim merger. If you're one of those three people, this post is for you. If not, I'll try and make it. When we wear masks, we carve a piece of ourselves out—withholding parts of ourselves as unworthy. But in relationships, we can’t be truly healed unless we offer up all the pieces.
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Маска/ The Mask
EXT. HIGH SEAS - DAY
The dragonhead prow of an ancient Viking ship cuts through the thick fog of the rough North Atlantic Sea.
MUSIC EXPLODES: WAGNER'S 'GOTTERDAMMERUNG' (Twilight of the Gods)
SUPERIMPOSE: THE TENTH CENTURY A.D.
EXT. BOW OF THE SHIP - DAY
Viking explorer LEIF ERICSON carefully studies his fob compass as he dangles it above a parchment map. His SAILORS steal nervous looks at
a large, diabolical-looking IRON BOX in the hold.
OLAF, a fierce, one-eyed Viking warrior approaches Ericson. NOTE: Dialog is in OLD NORSE, with SUBTITLES)
OLAF
Leif, let's do the deed
before another night falls. The crew's
near mutiny.
Ericson draws his broadsword with a flourish.
LEIF ERICSON
Know this! The first man to turn
will taste my steel in his guts.
OLAF
But we've surely gone far enough.
ERICSON
That accursed box must be thrown
off the edge of the world. We
will go until we can go no more:
Suddenly there is an ear-splitting SCREECH and the entire boat rocks violently as it runs aground.
The LOOKOUT is thrown from his crow's nest: and CRASHES straight through the deck right in front of Ericson. His pained voice floats up
from the black hole.
LOOKOUT
:Land ho.
Ericson wheels about just as the fog parts off the starboard bow.
ERICSON'S P.O.V.
A beautiful rustic coastline stretching off as far as the eye can see.
LEIF
(gasps)
By Odin's beard:
EXT. THE NEW WORLD - A HARBOR - SUNSET
Olaf finishes digging a hole in the sand. He backs away, terrified, as burly Vikings, led by Ericson, muscle the IRON BOX over to the hole and
quickly bury it. Ericson turns to an exotic-looking Eurasian WITCH.
ERICSON
Be quick, Witch. Let the deed
be done.
The Witch unravels a scroll and recites:
WITCH
Oh Loki, ancient one. Thy mischief
dwell now in waters, base and
bland. And in waves and sand thy
magic forever sleep:
As the Witch speaks, a strong wind kicks up and a black wall of clouds appears. The sky explodes in THUNDER and LIGHTNING. The men
look about fearfully.
ERICSON (CONT.)
Back to the ship men, hurry.
OLAF
Captain, you've discovered a new
world. It is your right to name it.
ERICSON
Leave that to the Italians. We're
never coming back here. Never.
This land is now cursed.
DISSOLVE TO:
A SIGN: 'BEACH CLOSED - RAW SEWAGE - NO SWIMMING'
EXT. BEACH - PRESENT DAY
Hot, smoggy and packed. Cityscape of towering skyscrapers stands in the haze just beyond the crowded beach.
SUPER: EDGE CITY - THE PRESENT
A caffeine-driven D.J's voice booms over the beach-goers' radios.
D.J. (V.O.)
Yessiree, it's a four-alarm
sizzler out there today with highs
in the upper nineties and no
relief in sight. We have a third
stage smog advisory and a metro
traffic gridlock alert.
Flourocarbons are up, the Dow
Jones is down and we're expecting
another Spike Lee movie any
second. In other words folks,
it's just another bee-youtiful
day in Edge City.
Camera ENDFRAMES on an industrial barge marked 'Department of Sanitation.' A crane's cable line disappears underwater.
EXT. UNDERWATER - SAME TIME
SCUBA WELDERS repair a cracked, scum spewing pipe. One diver hits something hard with his dredger. He unearths:
THE ANCIENT IRON BOX
Rust and barnacles partially obscure the engraved images of Norse gods and demons.
THE DIVER wedges his scuba knife under the corroded lock. Erie 'MASK' theme SFX rise as he tries to pry open the lid.
Suddenly the PIPELINE BREAKS FREE, crushing the diver and cracking open the box.
SOMETHING (seen only in rippling shadow) explodes out of the box on a cloud of bubbles and shoots toward the surface.
EXT. WATER
The Mask surfaces in the f.g. as lightening EXPLODES across the distant cityscape.
CUT TO:
EXT. EDGE CITY BANK
A banner displays their proud motto: 'WE BANK ON TOMORROW.'
EXT./INT. EDGE CITY BANK
CHARLIE SCHUMACHER (30's) gazes out the window from his cluttered desk as the crack of THUNDER echos through the urban canyons.
CHARLIE
Look at those clouds rollin' in,
man. Freaky weather.
STANLEY IPKISS, a bright0eyed amiable young account exec pauses by Charlie's desk and drops off a print-out.
STANLEY
Hey Charlie, can you go over these
stats? We're supposed to have
a complete report before lunch.
Charlie takes one looks at the complex print-outs and tosses them back.
CHARLIE
Woah. Sorry Stanley, I just had
my weave tightened and my head
is killing me. Be a pal and take
those over to Hinkleman, will ya?
MAGGIE, a cute young blonde now strolls by.
MAGGIE
Hi guys. Did you have any luck
with those concert tickets
Stanley?
Stanley perks up at the sight of her.
STANLEY
I sure did. Friday night, just
like you wanted.
MAGGIE
Oh, Stanley, that's wonderful.
STANLEY
What time should I pick you up?
MAGGIE
Gee, I don't know. My best
girlfriend just got into town and
I know she'd love to go. Can we
get an extra ticket for her?
STANLEY
Well: uh, actually it's sold
out. I was kinda lucky to get
these.
MAGGIE
She's only going to be in town
a couple of days and I just can't
let her sit at home all alone.
Are you sure there isn't something
we can do?
Stanley considers the situation for a moment, then pulls the tickets out of his pocket.
STANLEY
You know what? Here. You two
go.
MAGGIE
Oh Stanley, I couldn't do that.
STANLEY
No really. Go ahead. It's okay.
I hate concerts anyway. All that,
you know: music floating around.
Maggie snatches the tickets from Stanley's hand.
MAGGIE
That is so sweet. Sheila's just
going to love this.
STANLEY
So maybe you and I can get
together over the weekend?
Do They Get Paid On The Masked Singer Unmasked
MAGGIE
I'm not sure what's going on, but
just give me a call. You know
I like to be spontaneous.
STANLEY
Oh, sure. Me too.
MAGGIE
Stanley Ipkiss, you are the nicest
guy.
Maggie gives him a quick air-kiss and hurries off to her teller's window.
CHARLIE
That's it.
STANLEY
What?
CHARLIE
The kiss of death. As soon as
they use the 'N' word it's all
over.
STANLEY
So maybe I am a nice guy. So
what?
CHARLIE
You are a rug. I am talking
astro-turf here. You're letting
these women sharpen their cleats
on you.
STANLEY
Hey, I'm a gentleman. If they
can't appreciate that, it's their
problem.
CHARLIE
You spend too much time being
'nice' to a girl, you'll wind up
sittin' around listening to her
complain about the son of a bitch
she really loves.
STANLEY
Charlie, you are a very sick
puppy.
CHARLIE
Wake up, Stanley! These are the
nineties. We're dealing with an
entire generation of dysfunctional
love junkies. You can't romance
'em. You gotta confuse 'em. It's
the only thing that gets their
attention.
(pauses)
Let me demonstrate. You see that
girl over there?
Stanley looks over at the coffee service where an attractive young WOMAN is pouring herself a cup of coffee.
CHARLIE (CONT.)
Hi Lisa.
LISA
(forgets his name)
Oh, hi:
CHARLIE
Charlie.
LISA
That's right. Sorry.
CHARLIE
Lisa, this may seem a little odd,
but my friend over there and I
were having this discusion and
I thought maybe you could settle
it for us.
LISA
I'll help out if I can.
CHARLIE
(sheepishly)
Actually, I don't know: this
is kind of a personal question.
LISA
That's okay. Go ahead.
CHARLIE
Alright. Just for the sake of
argument, if I wasn't a happily
married man: am I the kind of
guy you'd go out with?
LISA
Oh, um: I don't know.
(pauses)
Well: yeah. I guess I would.
CHARLIE
Lisa, I have terrific news for
you.
LISA
What?
CHARLIE
I'm not married! Is this perfect
or what? Listen, there's not a
lot of women willing to come right
out like that and admit they're
attracted to a guy, but:
Lisa SLAPS Charlie, turns on her heel, and marches off.
CHARLIE (CONT.)
Jeez: make up your mind.
Stanley gives Charlie the fish eye as he returns.
CHARLIE
Okay. Bad example. Some
of these women got so much baggage
they need an emotional sky cap.
I'll tell you what Stanley,
tonight I'm gonna take you on a
love safari, deep into the darkest
heart of the urban jungle.
STANLEY
And where's that?
CHARLIE
The Monkey's Paw. Hottest new
club in town. It's a guaranteed
skirt alert and no dead beats
allowed.
STANLEY
So how are we gonna get in?
CHARLIE
Woah, do I detect a little
self-image problem there, buddy?
You just leave everything to me.
This, my friend is going to be
the perfect night on the town.
Suddenly a resounding peal of THUNDER rings out like the crack of doom. Sheets of rain pour down on the bank's windows.
EXT. STREET
Pedestrians scramble for cover in the sudden downpour.
INT. BANK - FOYER
A young woman scurries into the bank holding a newspaper over her head. She's soaking wet and pauses in the foyer to straighten herself out.
Charlie immediately notices her:
CHARLIE
Hold the phone. Killer at three
o'clock.
Stanley follows his gaze.
STANLEY'S P.O.V.
CAMERA does a classic CHEESECAKE TILT-UP starting with the woman's million dollar legs as she squeezes some of the water out of her
skirt: up past her body, which through her damp summer clothes is undeniable proof that there is a God: up: up: to her face as that
newspaper is tossed aside. She's a heart-stopping woman/child with a Cupid's bow mouth and ice blue eyes. In other words she's trouble.
Big trouble, also known as TINA CARLYLE.
Charlie may as well have just seen the Virgin of Guadalupe.
CHARLIE
(hushed reverence)
Oh my god: A perfect dime. The
dame of dames. The Moby of my
dick.
STANLEY
Easy Charlie. You'll sprain your
eyes.
Tina now enters and walks towards Stanley and Charlie.
TINA
Excuse me, where can I open a new
account?
Charlie flashes his best 100 watt smile.
CHARLIE
You've come to the right place,
ma'am. Just step right this way
and pull up a chair:
Charlie tries to steer Tina to his desk, but she's still preoccupied with her damp clothing.
TINA
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a complete
wreck. Will you hold this please?
She hands her shoulder bag to Stanley and peels off her wet blazer, creating another awe- inspiring visual moment.
CHARLIE
Here, let me take that for you.
Charlie clutches her jacket with white knuckles.
TINA
Thanks.
But Tina turns and sits at Stanley's desk; Charlie is stunned at his near miss, but there's not a thing he can do about it.
STANLEY
So, uh, what kind of account did
you have in mind?
TINA
(smiles sweetly)
Well, I'm not sure exactly. I'm
just terrible with things like
that. That's an interesting tie
Mr:?
STANLEY
Ipkiss. Stanley Ipkiss:
Tina extends her hand.
TINA
Tina Carlyle. Pleased to meet
you.
STANLEY
The, uh: pleasure's all mine.
Tina notices a box of Kleenex on Stanley's desk.
TINA
May I? I'm such a mess.
STANLEY
Oh... of course.
Tina takes out a compact and daintily blots the moisture from her face.
TINA
As I was saying about that tie. It's
like one of those, what do you
call them, ink blot tests.
STANLEY
A Rorschach test.
She twists open a tube of lip gloss andbegins to run it across her incredibly lush liips.
TINA
That's it. It looks like... um.
A young woman riding bareback.
You know, like a Lady Godiva or
something.
STANLEY
Really? I don't think I can...
She slowly runs a finger along Stanley's tie.
TINA
Or... if that's not a horse it
could be two lovers. A man and
a woman. That would be the woman
on top, of course.
STANLEY
(mesmerized)
...Of course.
She licks her lips and blots them on the Kleenex, leaving a perfect kiss impression and drops it on Stanley's desk.
TINA
What do you see, Mr. Ipkiss?
Stanley starts to get uncomfortable under her gaze.
STANLEY
I don't know. ...Bold colors.
It's a power tie, y'know? They're
supposed to make you feel...
powerful.
TINA
Does it work?
STANLEY
Sort of. It's just a tie. Now,
about that account.
CLOSE-UP
as Tina drops her compact back in her shoulder bag and we see her flick a red L.E.D. light on. She carefully adjusts the bag, aiming a tiny
CAMERA LENS neatly concealed within it.
Tina's pointing the bag at the open bank vault that stands a short distance from Stanley's desk.
CUT TO:
C.U. - VIDEO MONITOR
displaying the shot of the vault that Tina is broadcasting.
WIDER - INT. MONKEY'S PAW NIGHT CLUB
DORIAN TYREL - a slick nouveau-mobster complete with diamond ear stud and Matsuda jacket watches the video broadcast from his inner
sanctum; an eclectic post-modern playroom with an array of electronic toys and minimalist gun racks.
Dorian sips nervously on a Yoo-Hoo as he watches the show.
DORIAN
That's it sweetheart. A little
to the right.
His two gunsels, SWEET EDDY and CHUN WOO are busy at the back of the room playing air- hockey. Serious firepower is visible in their
shoulder holsters.
DORIAN (CONT.)
Hey, will you guys keep it down
back there?
Dorian's safe cracking expert, a black hip-hop artist named DOCTOR FREEZE scribbles notes as he watches the screen with a practiced eye.
DR. FREEZE
That's cool, man. Freeze it right
there.
Dorian punches a button and the image freezes.
DORIAN
What do you think, Doctor?
DR. FREEZE
Layout's not bad. We got us a
sweet little Perkins/Jenning time
lock. But them motion detectors
are putting the chill on my
thrill.
DORIAN
Can you pull it off?
DR. FREEZE
Hey, you're talkin' with the
Doctah, man. It's all about time
and money.
DORIAN
Yeah, well the meter's runnin'
on this one. We got less than
a week.
DR. FREEZE
Not cool. What about the coin?
DORIAN
There's plenty. And I'll be happy
to invest your share.
DR. FREEZE
What you talkin' about, man?
DORIAN
This isn't about the lousy couple
hundred thou' that's sitting in
that vault, Freeze. That's chump
change.
DR. FREEZE
Yeah? Then I'm chump number one,
man.
DORIAN
We gotta expand your horizons
Doctor. Take a look.
Dorian pulls back a curtain. An amazingly gaudy building stands on a pier across the river from Dorian's club. A huge sign across it's archway
reads: 'Opening Soon Valhalla Casino'.
DORIAN (CONT.)
The Valhalla Casino. Twenty mil
of glass, neon, booze and dice.
World class sucker bait. The
grand opening is Saturday night
and it will drive this two bit
club of mine out of existence.
But I say if you can't beat 'em,
take 'em over.
DR. FREEZE
Yeah? That's Arnie the Swede's
place, man and he is one ice cold
meatball eatin' motha fucker.
DORIAN
Leave him to me. You pull off
this heist and I promise you,
it'll be all tits and champagne
from here on in.
CUT TO:
EXT. RIVER - CULVERT - SUNSET
The Mask lies tangled in a rat's nest of seaweed and garbage that's washed up in a culvert under a bridge.
A large WHARF RAT now creeps out along the garbage sniffing curiously at its timeworn wooden surface. It takes a tentative nibble.
CLOSER - THE MASK
begins to SHIMMER... to vibrate with its own magical inner life. The rat SQUEAKS and jumps back, disturbing the pile of garbage.
WIDER
The Mask is dislodged and floats back out into the river. Camera TILTS UP with the Mask as it follows the current into the dark heart of the city.
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - EARLY EVENING
Stanley and Charlie are riding along at breakneck speed in a taxi cab.
STANLEY
Hold it up right here, please.
A gun port suddenly SLAMS open and the wild-eyed Albanian TAXI DRIVER wheels about and cocks a huge .45 from his side of the bullet
riddled partition as the cab continues to barrel through traffic.
DRIVER
Hold up?! No hold up! I keel
you very well! I splatter your
guts big time, Mr. Cowboy Man!
Stanley dives for cover.
CHARLIE
No! No! He only wants you to
stop the cab!
The driver instantly SLAMS on the brakes, throwing his passengers forward mercilessly.
DRIVER
(now totally calm)
Hokay. Pardon you very much.
Charlie helps Stanley sit back up.
CHARLIE
It's alright, Stanley.
STANLEY
(softly)
I hate this town. I really hate
this town.
CHARLIE
Why are you getting out here?
STANLEY
I gotta pick up my car.
CHARLIE
Fine. Now don't forget. Ten
o'clock at the Monkey's Paw. I've
already got us lined up with a
couple of authentic dimes.
Stanley steps out of the cab.
STANLEY
Charlie, please. The last time
you said that you showed up with
two lesbian mud-wrestlers.
CHARLIE
Well, I can't promise we'll get
that lucky again... Later!
With a SCREAM of tires the cab peels back out into traffic.
CUT TO:
INT. RIPLEY'S AUTO FINISHING - EARLY EVENING
Stanley enters the grease spattered, cluttered garage and scans the area for signs of life. We can hear the CLANK-CLANK-CRASH of some
less than light-fingered automotive work in progress.
Stanley DINGS a little service bell sitting on a counter plastered with naked playmate decoupage and Mrs. Power Tool '93 calendars.
STANLEY
...Hello?
IRV, a lumbering unshaven behemoth of a man with permanently low-slung refrigerator repairman pants, makes his way past half rebuilt car
carcasses towards Stanley.
IRV
Hang on. Hong on. Don't get your
panties in a twist.
BURT, a thinner version of Irv with Coke bottle glasses and a mop of greasy hair, pops up from beneath a car, RIPS out of chunk of motor and
wiring and holds it up to Irv.
BURT
(examining part)
Hey Irv, what the hell is this?
IRV
(eyes it carefully)
Ohh... I dunno. About seven
hundred bucks.
They both laugh evilly as Irv slaps Burt on the back. Irv makes his way over to Stanley, still chuckling to himself.
IRV
Now what can I do for you, Bub?
STANLEY
I'm here for the Civic.
IRV
Japanese car, right? Kind of a
nasty pea soup green?
STANLEY
Well, they call it Emeral Forest,
actually...
Irv turns back to Burt.
IRV
Burt! Pea green Civic!
Burt pops back up from beneath the hood.
BURT
Green Civic... Green Civic. Oh
yeah! Brake drums are still on
order and I'm only halfway through
rebuilding the trans.
STANLEY
But I just brought it in for an
oil change!
IRV
Yeah? Well you're lucky we caught
those other problems before they
caused some serious trouble.
STANLEY
Alright. Alright. When will it
be ready?
Irv looks over at Burt, who gives him a 'Make something up' look.
IRV
Come back tomorro...
(Burt shakes his head 'no'.)
...First thing next wee...
(Burt shakes again)
...next month?
(Burt shakes an enthusiastic 'yes'.)
Yeah, first thing next month.
That's if we can get the parts.
STANLEY
What am I going to do in the
meantime? I can't afford to keep
taking cabs all over town.
Irv smiles a rotten-toothed smile.
IRV
Oh, hell... we can take care of
that!
(to Burt archly)
Hey Burt, bring around the loaner.
(to Stanley)
And for you little buddy, only
ten bucks a day.
CUT TO:
EXT. MONKEY'S PAW - NIGHT
The joint is jumping with musclehead BOUNCERS picking and choosing from the crowd of terminally trendy WANNABE'S gathered around the
entrance. A light drizzle is falling.
A parade of swanky cars pulls up one by one as CAR HOPS scurry to keep up with the flow;
A glistening pearlescent Rolls Royce.
A fire engine red Ferrari.
A classic two tone Corniche in tan and burgundy.
And finally a broken down Citroen in rust bucket red and spackle gray RUMBLES up to the front of the club with a disgruntled Stanley behind
the wheel.
A car hop attempts to open the door, but it's rusted shut. Stanley throws his shoulder into it and the door finally pops open with a SCREECH of
metal. Stanley nearly tumbles out into the street.
He smiles nervously at a high class couple looking with disdain at the eyesore-mobile. He pats the hood.
STANLEY
It's a classic.
The car hop jumps in and tries to throw the car into gear with a horrible GRINDING. He finally waves over two other car hops who quickly push
it off down the street.
CHARLIE
Hey, Stanley. Nice wheels. What
is that, a Rolls Canardley?
STANLEY
A what?
CHARLIE
You know, a Rolls Canardley.
Rolls down one hill canardley roll
up the next.
(he cracks up)
STANLEY
We are not discussing the car,
okay?
CHARLIE
Whatever you say, man.
Charlie gestures expansively towards the club.
CHARLIE
What do you think? Pretty
terrific, huh? This place make
Sodom and Gomorrah look like
Mayberry.
Stanley now notices a life-sized poster of Tina Carlyle standing by the main entrance that reads 'Featuring the Musical Stylings of Miss Tina
Carlyle.'
STANLEY
Hey, isn't that...
CHARLIE
Right. The wet dream from the
bank.
(pauses)
Hold on... I think I see my future
ex-wife.
Two rather tacky looking GIRLS beckon Charlie from the crowd.
GIRLS
Hey Charlie! Charlie!
CHARLIE
(waves)
We're in luck. It's Barbie and
Pebbles.
STANLEY
Doesn't it bother you that all
the women you know are named after
cartoon characters?
Barbie and Pebbles hurry over through the crowd.
BARBIE
We've been waiting out here for
hours. Can you get us in?
CHARLIE
No, problemo. Ladies, this is my
pal Stanley Ipkiss.
(leans closer)
Stanley's very influential in the
banking business.
Charlie is truly in his element as he elbows his way through the crowd dragging his entourage with him.
EXT. THE FRONT DOOR
Charlie finally makes through the crush of badies at the entry way's velvet ropes and calls to one of the two hulking BOUNCERS that guard the
door.
CHARLIE
Hey Bobby! Bobby, buddy. What's
happening man?
Bobby completely ignores Charlie as he ushers a pasty faced ROCK STAR and his underage TARTLET past the ropes.
CHARLIE (CONT.)
(to the girls)
This will just take a second.
(to the other bouncer)
Yo Nick! It's me... Charlie!
Nick is also completely oblivious.
STANLEY
Forget it, Charlie. I refuse to
stand here waiting to be judged
by these power-mad steroid
jockeys.
CHARLIE
How much cash you got on you?
STANLEY
What?
CHARLIE
You heard me. How much you got?
STANLEY
I dunno, fifty or sixty bucks.
CHARLIE
Hand it over.
STANLEY
No way.
CHARLIE
Hey, I'll pay you back! I'm only
carrying plastic. C'mon man, you
want to stand out here all night?
Stanley begrudgingly starts to count out some cash. Charlie snatches the whole wad and elbows his way back around to the ropes.
CHARLIE
(subtly flashing bills)
Hey Bobby!
Bobby's uncanny tip radar suddenly lights up.
BOBBY
Charlie, how you doin' man? Long
time no see.
Bobby unsnaps the rope for Charlie and gets the cash handshake he longs for.
The crowd surges around Charlie, Barbie and Pebbles as they step by, briefly cutting Stanley off.
He catches up just as the all-important rope is SNAPPED closed.
STANLEY
Hey, wait a minute! Charlie!
But Charlie and the girls have already been whisked inside. Dorian now steps out of the club and begins to check Bobby's list.
STANLEY (CONT.)
I'm with them! Hey, Bobby!
But Bobby is back into his deaf and dumb routine. Stanley unsnaps the rope himself and starts throgh. Bobby and BOUNCER #2 immediately
grab Stanley and quickly subdue him.
STANLEY
Hey! Leggo... awk!
Dorian glares at Stanley.
DORIAN
Lose him.
The bouncers drag Stanley through the crowd and unceremoniously toss him out into the rain- slick street.
ANGLE ON THE STREET
Stanley slowly rises, smoothing out his disheveled clothing. A horn BLARES and Stanley scrambles to one side as a limo swings into the
club's alleyway, splattering him with a wave of muddy water.
Stanley wipes the mud from his eyes just in time to see Tina Carlyle escorted from the back of the limo by a CHAUFFEUR carrying an umbrella.
She's shoe-horned into a heart-stopping red dress that's fighting a losing battle to restrain her decolletage.
Their EYES MEET. Tina pauses as she recognizes him.
TINA
(smiles)
Oh... Stanley. Hi.
Stanley realizes he looks ridiculous but gives a pathetic little wave hello anyway.
TINA (CONT.)
Are you okay?
Stanley gestures 'no problem' and tries to strike a casual pose against a street lamp, but slips and nearly falls.
With a SQUEAL of grinding gears and the KA-POW of a backfire, the car hop pulls Stanley's battered loaner right up behind him.
Stanley flashes a last nervous smile at Tina, and digs for the car hop's tip money... nothing.
He shrugs apologetically to the disgusted car hop and climbs in. The car RATTLES, COUGHS the finally ROARS off in a cloud of noxious
exhaust fumes.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. TAHOOCHIE BRIDGE - NIGHT
A forlorn looking spot on the outskirts of Edge City. We can hear Stanley's car SPUTTERING and POPPING along before it actually pulls into
sight on the dark rain-slick street.
INT. CAR
Stanley drives along in a miserable daze. Suddenly the engine starts KNOCKING violently and the car dies.
EXT. BRIDGE
Steam HISSES from the radiator as the car slowly rolls to a stop. Stanley GRINDS the ignition key again and again trying futilely to restart the
engine.
Finally, Stanley fights his way out of the rusted door with a SQUEAL of metal, turns and kicks the bumper: which promptly falls off with a
resounding CLUNK.
Beat.
The front axle collapses, the tires fall off and the driver's side door CLATTERS to the ground.
Stanley stands there staring at the steaming heap of useless metal: his mind a complete blank.
He slowly turns, looking down at the black brackish water swirling along beneath the Tahoochie Bridge. A wave of melancholy sweeps over
him. Stanley plucks a button from his coat and watches as it drops down: down to the river below.
Suddenly, something catches Stanley's eye: a BODY, floating along in the darkness. He snaps back to reality.
STANLEY (CONT.)
Hey: Hey mister!
EXT. RIVER BANK
Stanley rushes down the slippery embankment beneath the bridge. He spots the body dead ahead, floating along in the moonlight and hurries
as fast as he can.
CAMERA DOLLIES with Stanley as he scrambles down the slope; a black cat YOWLS as it races past him. He steps on and shatters a
discarded mirror, and he ducks under an old ladder that leans against the bridge's foundation as he finally reaches the shore.
Stanley splashes into the waist deep water just in time to catch the body as it floats by.
CLOSER - BODY
As Stanley grabs it, the 'body' falls to pieces: revealing that it's nothing but a trash bag, an old tire and some floating bits of garbage all
clinging to the 'head': an old wooden Mask.
Stanley shakes his head in disgust: some lifesaver.
Stanley inspects the Mask more closely; strange ritualistic symbols carved into a puckish face with a leering grin and eerie empty eye holes.
The faintest sound of a haunting 'Mask SFX Theme' rises as Stanley turns the Mask around and inspects the inside: slowly bringing it
closer and closer to his face. The surface of the Mask begins to SHIMMER.
But then: RIBET! A frog jumps out of it, right into Stanley's face. Stanley nearly loses his footing on the slippery river bottom.
Suddenly a blinding SPOTLIGHT shines down from the bridge and an amplified voice calls out from a squad car.
POLICEMAN
Hey, you! What are you doing down
there?
Stanley squints into the light, trying to think of a reasonable answer.
STANLEY
I was just looking for:
(holds up Mask)
My mask.
CUT TO:
INT. MONKEY'S PAW - NIGHT
The club is closing up. WAITERS stack chairs on top of tables in the B.G. as Tina gathers her sheet music from her PIANIST.
TINA
Thanks Reno, you're the greatest.
RENO
G'night, doll.
Tina crosses to the bar area where Dorian lounges with DR. FREEZE, SWEET EDDY and CHUN WOO. Dorian toasts her as she pulls up a bar
stool.
DORIAN
That was a great performance,
baby. But not as great as the
one you pulled off at the bank.
TINA
Yeah, well don't get used to it.
I'm not going to start running
cons for you again, Dorian. I'm
a singer now and that's it.
Dorian rolls his eyes at Freeze, 'Get her'.
DORIAN
Oh, really? And you had such a
red hot career before you latched
on to me?
Tina pours herself a drink.
TINA
Who latched on to who?
DORIAN
Get real, Tina. You'll do what
I say or I'll drop you back where
I found you, slingin' hash and
dodgin' horny peterbuilt drivers.
TINA
(downs a shot)
Don't push me, Nicky. I might
just take a walk I should have
taken a long time ago.
DORIAN
(chuckles)
Easy, baby. Easy.
(to his men)
I love it when she gets pissed.
Dorian scoots over and puts an arm around Tina. She remains cool.
DORIAN (CONT.)
C'mere. You take a hike and who's
gonna kiss you like Dorian Tyrel.
Tina pours another shot.
DORIAN (CONT.)
C'mon. Who?
Tina finally cracks a smile.
TINA
Nobody.
DORIAN
(pulls her close)
That's right, baby. C'mere.
Tina slowly leans in for a kiss, her lips softly parted: but raises a finger to Dorian's lips, stopping him cold. She glances over at Freeze.
TINA
Sorry. I never get personal in
front of the help.
Tina abruptly stands and exits as Freeze glares at her.
Dorian breaks into laughter.
DORIAN
That broad kills me.
DR. FREEZE
She just might, man. The bitch
is trouble.
Dorian pours them all a drink.
DORIAN
C'mon Doctor, lighten up.
(raises his glass)
Here's to Edge City Bank.
May it crack like an egg on Easter
Sunday.
Their glasses CLINK.
CUT TO:
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
The police car pulls up in front of Stanley's brownstone and he wearily climbs out.
OFFICER
Okay, Mr. Ipkiss. Try to be a
little more careful next time.
STANLEY
Thanks Officer.
The black and white pulls away and Stanley starts across the empty street.
VOICE
Hey, mister:
Stanley turns.
A razor-cut DEATH'S HEAD PUNKER hops down from a fire escape in a darkened alleyway.
DEATH'S HEAD
You a cop or something?
A half dozen other DEATH'S HEADS appear out of the shadows all decked out in nipple chains, tattoos and other self-mutilation-as-fashion
oddments.
STANLEY
Uh: no. They just gave me a
lift.
DEATH'S HEAD
A cop chauffeur? I never seen
that before. How about you boys?
The other Death's Heads pipe up with 'Not Me,' 'Nope,' 'Pretty special,' etc. as they slowly surround Stanley.
STANLEY
Alright, you guys. It's been a
tough night. I haven't got any
money. I haven't got a car. All
I have is this and you're
welcome to it.
Stanley tosses Death's Head #1 the Mask.
He briefly inspects the funky looking antique, still slick with river slime, then tosses it back. He approaches Stanley.
DEATH'S HEAD
Hey, man. You got us all wrong.
We don't want any trouble. I was
just going to ask you for the
time. That's all. You got the
time?
STANLEY
Uh: yeah.
As Stanley pulls back his sleeve to check his watch, the Death's Head flicks out a butterfly knife. With a FLASH of steel, he slices straight
through Stanley's watch band and snatches the watch.
DEATH'S HEAD
(holding up his prize)
See, I only wanted the time! Heh,
he, heh:
All the punkers laugh like the half-wits they are as Death's Head #1 shoves Stanley into Death's Head #2. #2 pushes him back across to #3 and
so on. Stanley is roughly bounced back and forth more and more violently within the circle of giggling street toughs. He finally breaks free and
scrambles to his front door, still reeling with dizziness. He fumbles with the key and SLAMS the door behind him as the Death's Heads roar with
laughter.
CUT TO:
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Stanley's wet shoes SQUEAK as he tiptoes past -
APARTMENT 'A' - MANAGER
A sign that reads 'Quiet Please' hangs from the doorknob. Stanley continues past it to Apartment 'B'. Just as he removes his keys - the
Manager's door flies open and MRS. PEENMAN appears. She's an old dragon in hair curlers who will probably live forever just to spite her
relatives.
MRS. PEENMAN
Ipkiss! Do you have any idea what
time it is?
Reflexively, he looks at his (now empty) wrist.
STANLEY
Actually, no.
MRS. PEENMAN
It's three o'clock in the morning!
First, you wake up the entire
building laughing it up with your
pals. Then, you come in and start
squeak -
(sees puddles)
My new carpet! Just look at that!
This is coming out of your
cleaning deposit Ipkiss!
Stanley, battered, bruised and soaking wet is deep in urban shell-shock.
STANLEY
(softly)
Are you done?
MRS. PEENMAN
:Yes.
STANLEY
I think I'll be going to bed now.
Mrs. Peenman SLAMS her door.
INT. STANLEY'S APARTMENT - CONTINUES
Small, full of books but very neat. A few cherished animation cels from 1940s cartoons are framed on the wall. As Stanley locks the door behind
him - he's greeted by MILO, a happy little terrie sized mutt with a big heart.
STANLEY
Hello, Milo.
Milo gets so excited he starts GAGGING and COUGHING.
STANLEY (CONT.)
Easy, buddy. I missed you too.
Stanley pats Milo on the rump, crosses his tiny kitchenette and heads straight into:
THE BEDROOM
Stanley's prized collection of 'golden Age' Looney Tunes tapes are neatly displayed on a simple bookshelf.
He tosses the Mask down on his bedside table, pops one of his cherished Tex Avery cartoons into the V.C.R., plops down on his bed and
starts to strip off his shoes and socks.
MILO
enters, holding a Frisbee in his mouth.
STANLEY (CONT.)
C'mon, Milo. I'm beat.
(to the dog YIPS)
Okay, okay. One throw.
Stanley tosses the Frisbee into the air. The disk sails:
OUT OF THE BEDROOM AND INTO THE HALLWAY
Milo runs it down, leaps up, and makes a perfect catch. He trots back to the bedroom, and drops it in Stanley's lap.
STANLEY
Easy. This is the best part.
On the screen a cartoon dog ZZZIPS into frame and drops a frizzing stick of dynamite down a bad guy's pants. KA-BOOM! The dog LAUGHS
maniacally.
Suddenly there is a POUNDING on the wall that rattles Stanley's framed cartoon cels.
STANLEY (CONT.)
(calls out)
Sorry Mrs. Peenman.
With a sigh, he ejects the tape and a much quieter talk show POPS on. Larry King and a guest.
Stanley rises and crosses into the bathroom to wash up.
ANGLE ON T.V.
King's guest, Dr. Arthur Neuman, is replying to a caller.
DR. NEUMAN
That's correct. The truth is we
all wear masks, metaphorically
speaking. We repress the Id:
our darkest desires and hide
behind a more socially acceptable
image of ourselves in order to
cope with the frustrations of our
day to day lives.
Stanley's only half listening though the open bathroom door as he brushes his teeth.
STANLEY
Think I'm repressed, Milo?
Stanley tries a couple of fierce expressions in the bathroom mirror, his mouth foaming with toothpaste.
Milo does that doggie-head-cocked-sideways 'What the hell?' look.
STANLEY (CONT.)
(half-heartedly)
Nah.
He spits and rinses.
ANGLE ON T.V.
as King wraps it up, displaying the doctor's book.
LARRY KING
The book is 'The Masks We Wear,'
by Dr. Arthur Neuman. Thank you
Dr. Neuman.
Stanley pops off the T.V.with his remote.
STANLEY
No thank you, Dr. Neuman.
As he buttons up his P.J.s, Stanley notices Milo warily sniffing at the strange Mask, which is still lying on the bedside table. A subtle
SHIMMER crosses its surface. Milo WHIMPERS and quickly hops off the bed.
We now begin to hear the 'Mask Theme': echoes of the POUNDING Viking drums: growing louder. Haunting whispery VOICES seem to
call to Stanley as he slowly crosses to the bedside. He picks up the Mask and turns it over in his hands running his fingers across the time
work wood. The music builds:
He turns back to the bathroom mirror and slowly raises the Mask to his face. Milo watches apprehensively from beneath the bed.
For an instant - the MASK SHRINK WRAPS like a vacuum over Stanley's head. We hear the PIERCING MASK SFX.
Then, a beat later, the Mask is off with a POP. The SFX STOP.
STANLEY (CONT.)
Whoa.
Stanley studies the old mask, then his own face in the mirror. Everything's status quo. It must have been his imagination.
STANLEY (CONT.)
Naw:
He puts the Mask on again - firmly this time. Milo dives under the bed as:
AN INCREDIBLE METAMORPHOSIS BEGINS:
RUBBERY WOODEN WHIPS shoot out of the Mask and wrap around Stanley's head - locking the Mask in place.
STANLEY'S PAJAMAS magically reweave themselves: growing in all directions.
HIS HEAD THROBS AND EXPANDS, turning lime green as it unites with the Mask.
STANLEY GRABS HIS HEAD - His body begins to move uncontrollably.
Spinning faster and faster like a gyroscope. The SFX get loonier and loonier as he becomes:
A HUMAN TORNADO. Stanley's words are almost unintelligible as his voice jumps one, two, five octaves.
STANLEY
Hellllllllppppmmmmmmmeeeeeeeee:
A HAND reaches out of the twister and locks onto the bedpost. The whirlwind SCREECHES to a halt, causing sparks and smoke to rise from
the singed carpet. The smoke clears revealing:
THE MASK CREATURE
He's dressed in a snazzy zoot suit - a distortion of the paisley material of Stanley's pajamas.
The head is no longer Stanley's. It's large, bald and bright green. The huge bug-eyes glow with mischief. The nose is small, bony and beaked.
The mouth and teeth are enormous and gleaming white as he breaks into a learning grin.
The overall effect is devilishly loony, but not altogether unhuman. In fact, there's something downright charming about him.
The Mask checks himself out in the mirror and likes what he sees.
THE MASK
S-s-s-nazzy!
He SNAPS his bow tie with a crazy gleam in his eyes.
THE MASK (CONT.)
It's party time!
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
Trying to ber VERY, VERY quiet, the Mask tiptoes down the darkened corridor. The floor makes a barely audible CREEEEK as the Mask steps
with exaggerated care pst APARTMENT 'A' with it's little 'Quiet Please' sign. He raises a finger to his lip, making the 'SHUSH' sign.
Suddenly - and unexplicably - a ringing ALARM CLOCK leaps out of Stanley/Mask's pocket and starts jittering down the hall.
STANLEY/MASK
O, jeepers--!
Stanley/Mask tries to snag the clock, but it bounces away every time. Frustrated, he pulls a full sized SLEDGEHAMMER from his pocket and
starts POUNDING the floor in an effort to stop the clock. Glancing blows shatter the clock face and most of the works, but those bells just keep
ringing.
The hammer, of course, slams craters the size of manhole covers into the floor and reverberates through the building like THUNDERBOLTS.
The door bursts open and Mrs. Peenman's angry face pops out covered in blue mud pack and framed in curlers. She gets one look at the Mask
with his oversized carnival mallet raised over his head and SCREAMS bloody murder.
The Mask SCREAMS in response, his eyes bugging out on stalks and his mouth expanding to the size of a tuba in mock horror.
Mrs. Peenman's door SLAMS shut and reopens a beat later as she appears cocking an enormous shotgun.
MASK
Easy lady! I was just killin'
time!
The Mask starts ricocheting off the walls HOOTING maniacal laughter as Mrs. Peenman lets loose with both barrels. KA-BOOM.
The Mask bounces off walls as Mrs. Peenman continues to blast away, and finally leaps straight out the window. KEE-RASH.
EXT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
Sending his body SAILING our through the air towards the street seven stories below.
STANLEY/MASK
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-
EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
SPLAT. Stanley/Mask lands face up in the middle of the street. He slow: painfully starts to rise as a STREET CLEANING machine turns a
corner and RUNS DIRECTLY OVER HIM. The machine disappears down the street as we HOLD on Stanley/Mask's flattened body.
He raises one arm, grabs himself by the head and peels himself off the street. He shakes himself out with one sharp CRACK and straightens his
zoot suit. He's shocked to find a tiny SPOT on his sleeve.
STANLEY/MASK
Hey! You missed a spot!
As if on cue, a SECOND street cleaning machine SLAMS into him and RUNS OVER HIM AGAIN. This time he reinflates himself back into 3-D
by blowing into his thumb and hops up.
STANLEY/MASK
And next time, no starch!
Fully recovered, Stanley/Mask starts down the street, strutting like a prize fighter.
VOICE
Hey mister:
Death's Head punker #1 hops down from his fire esscape behind the Mask.
DEATH'S HEAD #1
(grins evilly)
:You got the time?
The Mask turns to see he is surrounded by the Death's Head punkers. He seems to be delighted by their presence, but now that they see his
face, they're totally freaked.
MASK
(wiggles eyebrows)
Why of course, Cubbie. I got all
the time in the world!
He whips out his forearm (which grows large for emphasis cartoon-style). It's covered with crazily spinning watches, CHIMING cuckoo clocks
and sun dials.
MASK
London, Paris, Rome, standard,
substandard and no standards at
all! And for our English friends
we have: Big Ben!
DEATH'S HEAD #1
Big Ben?
Stanley/Mask KICKS a nearby street post, snapping it in half and sending a large decorative street clock PLUMMETING into the sidewalk.
KA-BONG! It completely obliterates Death's Head #1. The other gang members jump back in shock as the Mask races around the corner.
DEATH'S HEAD #2
Get him!
The Death's Heads pull out nasty homemade weapons and race around the corner into the alleyway.
INT. ALLEY
They come to a screeching halt as they discover Stanley/Mask dressed as a carnival barker. Multicolored lights and Calliope music come from
out of nowhere.
MASK
And for my next trick:
Long pink and blue balloons appear in Stanley/Mask's hands and he instantly goes into a frenzy of twisting and knotting them into an
elaborate balloon sculpture. SQUEAK. SQUEAK. SCREECH.
The Death's Heads are too stunned by the severe weirdness of all this to do anything but stand there and stare. (These guys were no rocket
scientists in the first place.)
MASK (CONT.)
And viola! We have a giraffe!
Sure enough, he's created a first rate balloon sculpture. He hands it to the biggest, dumbest Death's Head, who grins like a little kid upon
receiving it.
The Mask instantly goes into another flurry of motion, sculpting more balloons. SCREECH POP.
MASK (CONT.)
A few more twists of the wrist
and for you, Cubbie.
He hands this next prize to Death's Head #3.
MASK (CONT.)
A French poodle! And finally my
favorite:
He goes into another flurry of motion.
E.C.U. - BALLOON
As the Mask pulls the ends of the knotted balloon, it straightens out and MORPHS into:
MASK (CONT.)
A Tommy gun!
A real one! He immediately sprays the Death's Heads with hot lead. RATATATATATAT!
The greasy punkers dive for cover and scramble out of the alley under a hail of bullets.
Stanley/Mask tosses the gun aside, intoxicated with his newfound powers.
MASK (CONT.)
Wait a minute. This is
incredible! Why, with these
powers I could be a superhero!
I could fight crime: Work for
world peace:
C.U. - THE MASK
MASK (CONT.)
But first!:
CUT TO:
EXT. RIPLEY'S AUTO FINISHING - NIGHT
It's late, but there's still a light on inside.
INT. GARAGE - NIGHT
Burt and Irv, both woozy from drink, attempt to finish a card game. A dozen empty beer bottles and two half eaten chili dogs adorn the table.
Irv takes a big bite of his chili dog and pauses to regard it like a true connoisseur.
IRV
Now these are serious chili dogs.
BURT
I know. Here's the proof:
(lets out a long BUUURP)
Aaah. Even tastier the second
time around.
Irv leans forward and sticks out his index finger.
IRV
Hey Burt, pull on my finger.
BURT
No way, man.
IRV
No, really. Go ahead.
BURT
Irv, don't:
Irv raises a leg anyway and rips off a nasty fart. BRAAAP!
IRV
(proudly)
That, my friend is the sweet smell
of success.
BURT
(shrugs)
No style. I give it a five tops.
IRV
Okay, how about: Soprano.
Irv shifts his weight and hits an amazing high note. PWEEEEEP! Burt is impressed in spite of himself.
BURT
Fine muscle control.
IRV
And now for my grand finale,
THX: The audience is listening!
Irv lets one loose in perfect sensurround.
Suddenly the front door EXPLODES inward. Stanley/Mask stands there SILHOUETTED like a gunfighter from a Clint Eastwood movie.
Irv squints into the light, unable to make out the mysterious figure.
IRV
Hey, 40 watt: we're closed!
Nobody's here.
MASK
Ah: but you're here.
Irv rises.
IRV
What I mean is:
He lets loose a sneaker to help make his point. POOOOT.
IRV
Nobody's here that wants to
help you.
Stanley/Mask now steps into the light.
MASK
But I'm here to help you.
Burt and Irv's eyes go wide as they get a better look at their nemesis. Fear loosens Irv's sphincter and a last feeble bit of gas escapes with a
FWEEP!
Stanley/Mask whirls about with a flourish and pulls two gleaming mufflers from the wall.
MASK
Sounds like you have a little
exhaust problem there!
There's a mad gleam in his eyes as he spins the mufflers like two huge pistols and SNAPS them to a halt.
MASK (CONT.)
We better do a few touch ups
before you have some serious
trouble.
The Mask TWIRLS out of frame like a human tornado.
Camera PUSHES IN past Burt and Irv's shocked expressions into an E.C.U. of the garage's bare light bulb as it JIGGLES on its wire.
We can't see the mayhem, but we can hear wacky/bizarre sound F.X. as the Mask whirls about the garage. WHIZ! SCREECH! BANG! AHOOGA!
BURT AND IRV
No!: Wait! Eeeeeyaah!
SLOW DISSOLVE TO:
As that light bulb becomes the morning SUN peaking over Edge City's skyline. CAMERA PULLS BACK through Stanley's bedroom window:
INT. STANLEY'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAWN
Stanley slowly awakens. He grabs his head and moans, looking and feeling completely hung over. Then suddenly he remembers - and jumps
out of bed with a start.
He looks in the mirror, touching his face. It's the same old Stanley. He looks at his paisley PJ's. Same old PJ's.
He picks up the mask. Same old mask.
STANLEY
A dream: It was only a dream.
Stanley starts to relax. There's a KNOCK at the door.
INT. HALLWAY - DAWN
Stanley's greeted by LT. KELLAWAY (50). This hound-dog of a cop can't help but stare at Stanley's garish pajamas.
LT. KELLAWAY
Nice PJ's pal.
STANLEY
Can I help you?
LT. KELLAWAY
You're Ipkiss? Stanley Ipkiss?
STANLEY
That's right.
LT. KELLAWAY
Some kind of prowler broke in and
attacked Mrs. Peenman.
STANLEY
(swallows hard)
Really? I didn't hear a thing.
LT. KELLAWAY
Then you must be a pretty sound
sleeper, Ipkiss 'cause she
unloaded a couple rounds of 20
ott buckshot five feet from your
door.
Kellaway swings Stanley's door open wider to give him a better view of the damage. Mrs. Peenman stands there in the hall tearfully speaking to
anither OFFICER.
Stanley is flabbergasted to see:
QUICK CUTS
C.U. - The shotgun blasts in the walls.
C.U. - The pot holes left from the mallet.
C.U. - The shattered remains of the wacky alarm clock.
All flashbacks from last night!
STANLEY
(gasps)
That's: impossible!
LT. KELLAWAY
Excuse me?
Stanley quickly pulls himself together.
STANLEY
That's: a, possible. See, I
have this inner ear problem.
(wiggles a finger in his ear vigorously)
Sometimes I can't hear a thing.
KELLAWAY
(skeptical)
Is that a fact?
STANLEY
What?
Kellaway leans closer to speak more loudly, but catches himself and shoots Stanley a dirty look.
KELLAWAY
Forget it.
He hands Stanley his card.
KELLAWAY (CONT.)
Here. You remember anything
unusual about last night, anything
at all, call me.
STANLEY
Sure: thanks.
Stanley SLAMS the door and throws his body against it, his heart pounding in his chest. Milo gives him that curious
dog-head-cocked-sideways look.
STANLEY (CONT.)
Milo, it was real! How could it
all be: real?
Stanley suddenly notices the clock on the wall.
STANLEY (CONT.)
Oh my god. I'm late!
He races into the bedroom.
INT. HALLWAY
Kellaway is taking notes as patiently as he can from Mrs. Peenman.
KELLAWAY
Look, Mrs. Peenman, you gotta
admit your description is pretty
tough to swallow.
MRS. PEENMAN
Then you can choke on it for all
I care. I saw what I saw.
KELLAWAY
Right.
(refers to notes)
A green head the size of a
pumpkin, purple zoot suit and
spats. That's a pretty serious
fashion risk for any
self-respecting second story man.
An OFFICER now hurries up the steps all out of breath.
OFFICER
Lt., we just got an emergency call
from a mechanic on 67th Street.
KELLAWAY
What?
POLICEMAN
Some kind of assault and battery.
Sound pretty bad.
KELLAWAY
(sighs)
Alright. Dont' worry Mrs.
Peenman, we'll find this guy for
you. Officer Deluca here has a
few forms you'll have to fill out.
CUT TO:
INT. STANLEY'S APARTMENT
Stanley rushes around the apartment, but he can't find his keys anywhere. He finishes tying his tie as he searches.
STANLEY
Milo! Keys! Keys!
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME
Milo's ears prick. He leaps up and immediately starts sniffing around. He pulls a cushion off the sofa and emerges with the keys just as Stanley
comes out, briefcaase in hand.
STANLEY
Good boy.
He pets his dog, takes his keys and starts out the door: but he pauses to take a last look at the mask: It's eerie black eye holes and devilish
grin seem to mock him.
On sudden impulse, he grabs it, hurls it out the balcony's sliding glass door and exits.
SLOW-MO - THE MASK
Sailing end over end through the air.
EXT. BUILDING
As the mask flies out into the sir, a sudden wind kicks up.
The mask arcs back toward the building like a boomerang and lands balanced precariously on a narrow ledge. Its mocking grin seems to glow
with triumph.
CUT TO:
EXT. RIPLEY'S AUTO FINISHING - DAY
The place looks like it's been hit by cartoon graffiti guerrillas: Everything's printed in polka-dots, checks, tartan, etc. The
'Ripley Auto Finishing' sign hangs askew over the doorway. Letters have been sprayed out to read 'Rip Off!'
Several REPORTERS and curious ONLOOKERS stand nearby as Kellaway and his men take it all in. PARAMEDICS appear wheeling Burt and
Irv out of the building on two gurneys.
They're both in severe discomfort and look more like cars than men: Bodies spray painted metallic colors, hood ornaments glued to their
foreheads, wire rims under each limb, and gleaming four foot long mufflers sticking out of their rear ends.
They wince in pain at each tiny bump of the gurney.
BURT AND IRV
Ah!: Eeeh!: Ooh!
Paramedic #3 speaks into his emergency radio-phone as Burt and Irv are loaded into the van.
PARAMEDIC #3
I want a proctologist standing
by! Yeah, you heard me! The best
one you can find.
An OFFICER steps out of the building and approaches Kellaway.
OFFICER
We were able to get a description
Lt., but it's pretty weird.
KELLAWAY
(sighs)
Let me guess: Big green head.
Zoot suit.
OFFICER
How did you:
KELLWAY
Whoever this guy is, he's a world
class twisto.
PEGGY BRANDT, an attractive young woman in her mid twenties, appears besides the other reporters and approaches Kellaway, notepad in
hand.
PEGGY
Excuse me, Lt., I'm with the
Evening Star. Can you tell me
what happened here?
KELLAWAY
Sorry. Too early to comment.
PEGGY
It looks like some kind of mob
scare tactic.
KELLAWAY
I said no comment. Now break it
up. This is a crime scene.
As the officers disperse the reporters and other onlookers, Peggy slips away from the group. Even though it's closed off with yellow police
tape, Peggy slips inside the garage.
INT. MECHANIC'S OFFICE - DAY
The empty garage has been turned into a topsy-turvy nightmare. The same cartoon paint job covers the walls. Peggy looks around, sifting
through some papers scattered all over the floor. Nothing.
Then she spies the COMPLAINT BOX. Peggy opens it and pulls out a HANDFUL of pink 'comment' slips. She looks at them. Almost all of
them are from one customer - STANLEY IPKISS.
INT. BANK - DAY
Stanley, still looking rumpled and unshaven, hurriedly takes off his coat and powers up his computer. Charlie steps over to his desk carrying a
newspaper.
CHARLIE
What happened to you last night?
The girls and I were looking all
over for you.
STANLEY
I uh, didn't feel so good. I
decided to go home early.
CHARLIE
As a matter of fact, you don't
look so good. You got to take
better care of yourself, man.
STANLEY
How was the club?
CHARLIE
Are you kidding? It was hotter
than a pistol. Did you see the
paper?
STANLEY
No.
CHARLIE
Your girlfriend got a great
review.
Chralie flips open the Entertainment section of the Evening Star. There's a great close-up of Tina singing her heart out with the headline
'Bombshell Explodes at Monnkey's Paw.'
MR. DICKEY, the smarmy office manager who is younger than Stanley, now appears.
DICKEY
Ipkiss! You're forty minutes
late! Every time you do that
you're robbing this bank of its
time and money!
STANLEY
Sorry, Mr. Dicky. It won't
happen again.
DICKEY
(snatches newspaper)
If you weren't so busy ogling
girlie pictures you'd get some
work done around here.
CHARLIE
Ah: She's a prospective client
of Stanley's, sir.
DICKEY
Do You Win Money On The Masked Singer
(sudden attitude change)
She is? Well: Next time she
comes in see that you send her
directly to my office.
STANLEY
Yes sir, Mr. Dickey.
Dickey tosses the paper back on Stanley's desk and marches off through the bank.
CHARLIE
Look at that little creep. If
it wasn't for his daddy he'd be
out somewhere shakin' down school
kids for lunch money.
Stanley toys with the Kleenex that bears Tina's lipstick 'kiss'.
Do They Win Money On The Masked Singer
STANLEY
You think she ever will come back,
Charlie?
CHARLIE
Who knows? Forget about her,
Stanley. A dame like that is
always looking for the B.B.D.
The bigger better deal. Ask her
what her sign is and she'll say
dollar.
STANLEY
You don't know that. She's an
artist. Maybe she's sensitive.
CHARLIE
Yeah. She can sense a guy's
credit line at two hundred yards.
Stanley, you need a girl you can
depend on. Someone a little more
down to earth... someone like...
ANGLE ACROSS THE BANK
as Peggy Brandt stops by a teller's window, looking sharp and pretty in a blazer and jeans.
PEGGY
Excuse me, can you tell me where
I can find Stanley Ipkiss?
BACK TO CHARLIE
CHARLIE
Like her! Someone like her.
(straightens tie)
As a matter of fact I could use
someone like her myself.
(rises as Peggy approaches)
Hel-lo there. May I be of some
assistance?
PEGGY
Stanley Ipkiss?
Charlie begrudgingly points to Stanley.
PEGGY (CONT.)
Hi. I'm Peggy Brandt. I'm with
the Evening Star.
STANLEY
Oh, hi. I already have a
subscription, thanks.
PEGGY
Oh no, actually I just wanted to
ask you a few questions.
STANLEY
Really? About what?
PEGGY
Ripley Auto Finishing. You're
a customer of theirs aren't you?
STANLEY
I... uh. No. I think you must
have made a mistake.
Peggy produces one of the complaint slips.
PEGGY
Isn't this a form of theirs you
filled out?
STANLEY
(nervous chuckle)
Oh, that Ripley Auto. I guess
I have stopped in there once or
twice, Miss... what did you say
your name was?
PEGGY
Peggy Brandt.
STANLEY
Wait a minute... Peggy Brandt of
'Ask Peggy'?
PEGGY
That's right.
STANLEY
(brightens up)
You printed my letter last year,
remember? 'Nice Guys Finish
Last.'
PEGGY
You're Mr. Nice Guy? Stanley do
you realize how much mail we got
about that letter? There's
hundreds of women out there who
are looking for a man just like
you.
STANLEY
Are you serious?
PEGGY
Of course. DO you know how hard
it is to find a decent man in this
town? Most of them think monogamy
is some kind of wood.
STANLEY
Why are you covering this story?
PEGGY
They cut my salary. I just can't
make it by on 'Dear Peggy'
anymore. The truth is, I want
to be a real reporter and if I
can break this story I know
they'll let me.
(sits closer)
Look Stanley, I know Ripley Auto
is a crooked operation. They may
even have had ties to the Mob.
I'm not out to get you. I just
want the truth.
STANLEY
I wish I knew the truth, Peggy.
I really do.
CUT TO:
EXT. MONKEY'S PAW ENTRANCE - AFTERNOON
A well dressed MAN checks from beneath his sunglasses to see nobody's watching and RAPS on the door. It opens and he quickly disappears
inside.
INT. DORIAN'S OFFICE
Sweet Eddy escorts him inside. The man removes his glasses and glances about nervously. Dorian sits at his desk. Dr. Freeze and Chun Woo
are going over an array of high tech burglary equipment laid out on the air hockey table.
DORIAN
Good afternoon, Councilman Snell.
Nice of you to drop by.
SNELL
Cut the crap. Dorian. What's so
important that I had to come here
in person?
Dorian gazes out the window to the Valhalla Casino.
DORIAN
I got a little job for you, Tom.
I want you to pull the Swede's
gambling license.
SNELL
That's impossible. He was
approved six months ago.
DORIAN
Pull a few strings. Find
something in the fine print. I
don't care how you do it, but do
it. You owe me.
SNELL
(chuckles)
I owe you nothing, you little
piece of shit. I got your
liquor license when nobody else
would touch...
Dorian suddenly EXPLODES, overturning his desk and sending Snell tumbling backwards. In less than a heartbeat, he grabs Snell by his shirt
ffront, SLAMS him up against the wall, SMASHES a whiskey bottle and presses the jagged edge to his throat.
Snell hangs there whimpering. Dorian has a crazed look in his eyes as he gazes at the Councilman's lapel.
DORIAN
(softly)
That's pretty. What is that, a
carnation?
Snell nods. Dorian takes a deep whiff.
DORIAN (CONT.)
Nice. Hey, Eddy... call my
florist. Two dozen pink
carnations to Mrs. Snell with my
regrets over her husband's
untimely accident.
Tears begin to well up in Snell's eyes.
SNELL
(gasping)
No... please. I can do it. I
can make it happen.
Dorian eases back... brushes off Snell's coat.
DORIAN
That's smart. You're a very smart
man. Now pull yourself together.
Look at you.
Dorian picks up an Uzi from Dr. Freeze's equipment.
DORIAN (CONT.)
Shut the Swede down, Snell. We'll
buy him out cheap with a little
collateral the bank is about to
provide us.
(looks at his men)
And Gentlemen... we are going to
be in the casino business.
CUT TO:
EXT. STANLEY'S BROWNSTONE - NIGHT
Distant sirens can be heard over the occasional sound of a gunshot. It's a reasonably peaceful night in Edge City.
INT. STANLEY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
CAMERA SLOWLY PANS off of Tina's picture, which is now taped to Stanley's dresser mirror... to Stanley himself as he tosses and turns in a
fitful sleep. Milo lies curled up at the foot of the bed. He looks concerned over the little noises Stanley is making in his sleep.
CAMERA PUSHES INTO AN E.C.U. of Stanley as we
DISSOLVE THROUGH INTO:
STANLEY'S DREAM - a 1940s noir-style montage:
Huge soft-lit faces loom over him, one dissolving into the next... Tina, luminous and breathtaking speaks under heavily lidded eyes.
TINA
Or it could be two lovers.
That would be the woman on top,
of course...
Charlie looms up out of the darkness.
CHARLIE
Forget her, Stanley. Ask her what
her sign is and she'll say dollar.
Mr. Dickey appears, glaring down angrily at Stanley.
DICKEY
Every time you're late Ipkiss,
you're robbing this bank!
The shrink from the 'larry King Show' floats by on a cloud of pipe smoke.
DR. NEUMAN
We must repress our Id... our
deepest darkest desires.
Finally Tina again standing beside the limo as she was that night in the Monkey's Paw alley:
TINA
Hey, are you okay.
Stanley stands at the curb, but this time he's not splattered with mud. He's decked out in first class Armani and looks suave as hell. He looks
straight into her eyes.
STANLEY
I am now. C'mere, baby.
TINA
(swoons)
Oh, Stanley!
She runs to his arms and they embrace in a passionate kiss. But Tina suddenly pulls back and begins rapidly licking Stanley's ear... which is
kinda weird.
E.C.U. - STANLEY
STANLEY
Tina?
Stanley suddenly realizes Milo is licking his ear... and he's just woken up.
STANLEY (CONT.)
Milo, down.
He pushes Milo away, tosses back the covers and rises out of bed. It's still the dead of night and Stanley is all in a huff from his dream.
He spots Tina's clipping on his dresser mirror and rips it off, upset with himself.
STANLEY (CONT.)
Stupid, stupid. She'd never...
Stanley wheels about and to his complete surprise sees...
THE MASK
Through his bedroom window, propped up on the fourth story ledge. Its leering grin seems to beckon Stanley as we begin to hear the
POUNDING beat of the Mask F.X. theme.
STANLEY
stands transfixed, staring at the moonlit face. He can almost hear echos of faint whispered VOICES calling his name. A deadly siren song above
the pounding drums.
STANLEY
(softly)
No...
He backs away from the window.
E.C.U. - THE MASK
shimmers as the WHISPERS grow louder.
STANLEY
takes a last look at the crumpled picture of Tina in his hand and finally loses control. He bolts from the room.
EXT. BALCONY - NIGHT
Stanley is a driven man as he makes his way out onto the narrow ledge. Milo tugs at his pajama leg, but Stanley kicks him away and climbs out
over the ledge.
THE LEDGE
Stanley wavers precariously on the crumbling masonry, then catches his balance. His face is bathed in sweat as he gazes at the leering face.
F.X. music THUNDERS in his head.
THE MASK
(faint echos)
Stanley... Stanley.
Stanley tries to steady himself, his eyes transfixed on his prize.
STANLEY
Just... one... last... time.
He lurches back out and makes his way one shaky step at a time towards the mask.
MILO
watches from the apratment window, whimpering softly.
C.U. - THE LEDGE
Narrow masonry begins to crumble.
STANLEY
carefully reaches down, his fingers just brushing the mask as he teeters out over nothingness. Night traffic whizzes by down below.
THE MASONRY
cracks away.
STANLEY
SCREAMS as he begins to fall, jamming the mask to his face.
INT. APARTMENT
The window suddenly EXPLODES inwards as the whirling Stanley/Mask tornado bursts into the room. Milo dives for cover.
The tornado scorches the rug as it wheels around the room, then SCREECHES to a halt, revealing the Mask in his full glory. He strikes a grand entrance pose with his arms held high.
MASK
(sings)
I gotta be me! I just gotta be me!
He ZZZIPS into the bathroom
INT. BATHROOM
The Mask sticks the picture of Tina on the bathroom mirror and blows her a kiss.
MASK
(a'la Big Bopper)
Oooooh Bay-bee. I knoooooows what
you likah!
He sprouts a couple of extra arms as he madly brushes his teeth, sprays on cologne and bats himself with a powder puff all at once.
He ZZZIPS into the bedroom.
INT. BEDROOM
The Mask stands before a full length mirror and checks himself out. With a magical 'hands are quicker than the eye' move, he changes wardrobe instantly... now posing in an effete fashion victim Don Johnson-style suit.
MASK
The G.Q. look?... Naw.
In a TWINKLING he's changed again: now in MTV Rapper-style over-sized jeans and backwards baseball cap.
MASK (CONT.)
501's?
(shakes his head)
For buttonheads only.
He changes again in a flash... This time he's naked except for his Calvin Klein underwear (his stomach muscles appear super-cut washboard-style).
MASK (CONT.)
Marky Mark, eat your heart out.
He changes one last time and appears in a wild banana yellow zoot suit complete with a snap brim fedora. That's the ticket!
MASK (CONT.)
S-s-s-mokin! Now let's see...
The Mask quickly searches his pockets. He pulls his pants pockets inside out and a moth flutters out.
MASK (CONT.)
What? Seems to be a minor cash
flow problem here! I don't like
to keep a lady waiting, but...
(points a finger in the air)
First things first!
The Mask ZZZIPS out of frame.
CUT TO:
EXT EDGE CITY BANK - NIGHT
The street is quiet and empty, except for a Dipsy Doodle Diaper delivery van parked across from the bank.
INT. TRUCK
Crowded with Dorian's men, it's been set up as a makeshift control room for the robbery. Dr. Freeze SLAPS a clip in his 9mm and looks down through the van's false bottom to Sweet Eddy, who is standing in an open manhole working on a bundle of underground wiring.
DR. FREEZE
What's the E.T.A.?
SWEET EDDY
Another five minutes.
Freeze synchronizes his watch.
DR. FREEZE
Counting down... now.
Freeze presses a button on the side of a miniaturized headset he's wearing
DR. FREEZE (CONT.)
(into headset)
Lookin' good here, my man.
INTERCUT - DORIAN'S OFFICE
He sits at his desk, speaking into a high tech walkie talkie. In the B.G. Dorian's wall-mounted video monitors display live shots of the club in full
swing.
DORIAN
Nice work, Freeze. You boy are
on your own now. I've got to make
sure I'm seen downstairs.
DR. FREEZE (V.O.)
Do it, man. The Doctah is about
to operate.
INT. VAN
Freeze turns to his men.
DR. FREEZE
Gentlemen...
(cocks his gun)
Let's do our duty and grab the
booty.
The burglars gather their gear when suddenly the bank alarm starts RINGING.
Freeze looks down the hole to Sweet Eddy.
DR. FREEZE (CONT.)
What the hell you doin', fool?
SWEET EDDY
Nothing! I didn't do nothing!
FREEZE
(to the others)
C'mon! You keep that motor
runnin'!
EXT. BANK
Freeze and company race across the street with guns drawn.
ANGLE ON THE BANK DOORS
Freeze and Chun Woo flatten themselves on either side of the door as Burglar #4 drops to one knee and quickly picks the lock.
Suddenly the glass doors EXPLODE wide open as a HUMAN WHIRLWIND bursts out of the bank, shoots right past them and zig-zags up the street. Twenty dollar bills slowly drift down onto the stunned robbers in its wake.
In an instant the whirlwind does a U-turn, zig-zag races back up to them and SCREECHES to a halt. The Mask, still in his banana yellow zoot suit and carrying huge sacks of money like Santa Claus, plucks those stray twenties from the air, one, two, three.